Zen and the Art of Toilet Paper

It was around four decades ago that I was witnessing an argument about toilet paper by two of the biggest names in the orchid industry.

At the time, I was working my way through college at an orchid nursery in San Gabriel, California. The president of the company (big name number one) wasn't in the argument but his wife was (still had the name as a perk of the marriage). The vice president of the company...who actually ran the business side of things...was big name number two.

"Paul, you have to know that you're wasting money on that cheap toilet paper," the wife would tell him. "If you get the good two-ply paper, you'll use less of it."

"Toilet paper is toilet paper!" he replied. "People will use a lot of is just because it's free."

This went on to the amusement of us employees and a few customers as the two argued for half an hour in the middle of our main showroom about the pros and cons of toilet paper quality. I can't remember who won that argument but I suspect the wife made a rare victory over the former Marine colonel who ran the shop.

Why am I reminded of this? Why, it's another symptom of Covid 19, that do-it-all bad guy of 2020.

As the world turmoiled over this virus and responded by wiping the shelves of toilet paper, more than a few of us started to pay more attention to that humble, dissolvable paper on a roll sitting next to our commodes.

For many years, now, we've been Charmin people. That's because it's the brand sold in 30 pack bundles at Costco (they also have their own Kirkland brand but we've never bought that). One pack lasts us a couple of months.

We were lucky, we went to Costco for our bi-monthly run just before our governor imposed a 2 month shelter-in-place (SIP) order for our state. While we could still go out shopping, people took this as the call to stock up on paper and cleaning products, cleaning out all of those items from store shelves around the world.

In the meantime, there were times I'd pick up a pack at our local store, when available, to have as an emergency if Costco would not have any in stock on our next adventure. It's then that I became...as I suspect many of you are, now...a toilet paper connoisseur.

For instance, I now notice that Angel Soft...a brand I thought was pretty good...was a good half inch narrower per roll than Charmin (see pic at top). Although two-ply, it is still nowhere as soft and...as our orchid lady at the top noticed...we use more of it than the Charmin.

We've also noticed that the one-ply rolls that hotels usually provide run out quickly like a bad date. You always wonder if that one extra roll they put in the bathroom will be enough when you're having dinner at Bubba's Discount Barbecue nextdoor.

Scott has big, 1000 sheet rolls but it's one-ply and very rough.

In the end, we're still with the Cadillac of toilet papers, Charmin. Mr. Whipple and his bears would be proud.

Darryl Musick
Copyright 2020 - All Rights Reserved

Shelter in Place De Ja Vu: Memories of Travel Lockdowns

Living in this time of Covid 19 related lockdowns, shelter-in-place, safer-at-home, or whatever you'd like to call this quasi-quarantine, we sit in our homes doing our best to keep from getting a bad case of cabin fever and dreaming of what we're going to do once we're allowed to live normal lives again.

While sitting here wondering, I am reminded of at least two times we lived under government imposed shelter-in-place orders while we were traveling. It's not like now, where we're sitting here at home for 23 hours a day (I like to go out for a little officially approved, socially-distanced exercize each day) for at least 7 weeks and counting...these only lasted for a day but did give us a little taste of what it would be like when the virus hit the fan this spring.

One time happened just last September when we visited Nova Scotia in the Maritimes of eastern Canada.

Watching hurricane Dorian ravage the Bahamas on the news was one thing. It was another a few days later into our vacation in Halifax that we were surprised that the storm's track took it far to the north and the next landfall bullseye was directly on the city we were now staying in.

Life went on as usual in Halifax for a couple of days. That started to change the day before predicted landfall as we saw restaurants and other businesses on the waterfront starting to board up windows. A floating pedestrian bridge was removed, and a parade of naval vessels greeted us as all the ships from a large, nearby base headed out to find safer waters.

We check with the manager of our hotel as to what we should do, especially as we were staying on the 10th floor with a wheelchair user. Assured that there was onsite power generation and that inside the hotel, things would operate as normal, we prepared by buying a ton of snacks and a few microwavable meals to tide us over.

Tomorrow, the city would be on lockdown. Like now, you were to shelter in place and not leave your building. You could go out if you really wanted...there was no law against it...but it was highly discouraged and you were let known in no uncertain terms that it was at your risk and...if you were out, got injured, or even died...that it would be too bad and your fault if something happened to you.

We hunkered down, the building shook a bit, the windows rattled, the cable TV and internet went out a couple of times but, other than boredom, we came through it fine. A few times, we'd go to the lobby and walk around just for a change of pace and one time, I went a few feet out the front door just to see what the force of the wind felt like.

For the next few days, we lived with the aftereffects. Power was out in most of the city, stores and restaurants were mostly closed (I did find a microbrewery near the hotel doing business by candlelight and cash only), and there was a lot of trees and a tall crane down. On the plus side, no one was killed or injured.

Picture courtesy of Wikimedia

Adam Stacey under CC BY 2.5 license

The other time was a more serious and deadly lockdown. The time was in London in the summer of 2005.

The day started out like any other and we were going to head out to see the observatory at Greenwich, which meant a significant journey by tube from our hotel in Chelsea.

After stopping for a cup of coffee at a Starbucks located in the station, we went to make our way to the platform only to be turned away by staff closing the gates. Buses outside were also refusing to take on passengers.

Our only option at that point was to go back to our hotel and see what else we could do. Of course, back in our room, Tim turned on the TV and we found out the problem...terrorists had set off bombs in the Underground and on a bus, killing many people.

The city was shut down. Everybody was ordered to stay right where they were. Many people already at work in the busy city had to walk home, some for many miles.

Our hotel fed us and set up some large TVs in the lobby so we could follow along with our fellow guests the events of the day. Like now, we could go outside and take a stroll through our immediate area. We walked the short distance from our hotel to the nearby banks of the River Thames where we could look towards the city and see hundreds of people, walking home over the bridges.

The Queen said we should stand up to the terrorists and get back at them by living life like normal so the next day, the Underground and the buses were back. Businesses were open, and...although shocked and saddened...the residents (and tourists) in London went on with their lives.

Now, we're faced with another, invisible foe who is not going to let us go after a day. It's tough...we've got to keep fed, well, and deal with unforeseen incidents while trying not to leave our homes...but most people are healthy. They're bored and grumpy but healthy.

It's just patience we need as we try to get through this very long enforced stay at home.

Darryl Musick
Copyright 2020 - All Rights Reserved